HOW TO BECOME A BARTENDER

Hey Everybody,

I know, I know. I’ve been gone for a long time, and you’re all mad at me. Well, I have an excuse. I once again was working two jobs and I spent all my free time writing my first e-book. Yeah, I wrote an e-book. As you know from my previous stories, I have spent many years in the bar business and I really love bar tending. So I decided to write an instructional guide for beginning bartenders. I titled it, “So Ya Wanna Be A Bartender”. It took a lot of work, but I finally finished it. It’s pretty cool. I give a little of my background, step-by-step drink mixing instructions, tips for increasing tips, do’s and don’ts, a little humor, and over 100 of the most requested drink recipes, plus a few of my own. So, if you’ve ever wondered “How to become a bartender”you can check it out HERE . It’s digitally downloadable and printable, so you can print it out and keep it handy for home-mixing or you can give it as a gift. I have checked out some of the other e-books out there for “How To Become A Bartender” and think that mine is probably the best value on the web, then again I could be a little partial, you be the judge.

Either way, I’m pretty proud of this new venture. The coolest part was writing the sales page. I think I did a pretty good job. Also, if you would like to join my mailing list you can do that without purchase. I send my mailing list all kinds of goodies that pertain to the bar business. You know, drink recipes, bar tips and tricks, bar jokes, and pretty much anything I cn think of that I forgot to put in a book. You can sign onto that for free at the bottom of the sales page. That link, once again is “So Ya Wanna Be A Bartender” . Hopefully, I’ll see you on the other side. Ta-Ta for now.

ANGEL DUDE

Do you guys believe in Angels? (Half- Baked-jail cafeteria scene…I Love that movie.)

But do you? I don’t really know if I do or don’t. But, If there are such-a-things, then I think maybe I have met one. I don’t know, I’ll tell you this story, then you can tell me what you think. You can just put your comments down in the “Comments” link at the bottom of the page. I’m interested in your theories……

OK. So here’s the deal. Timothy, my 1976 Toyota Corolla, had just once again decided that it was way too hot in the Sun City (El Paso) for him to be carrying the 4 of us on his back. So he decided to break down, right in the parking lot of a Pep Boys, on the West Side of town. After a couple of hours of us trying to get him back on his wheels, we finally gave up. We decided that we were gonna hoof it the 5 miles to my apartment.

It had to be about 150 degrees out that day. I’m talking HOT. So here we were walking down a main street. When the notorious “Thumper“, decided we should hitch a ride. I think he was really joking when he threw his thumb up, but it wasn’t 5 seconds and an old El Camino pulled over to pick us up. What was really weird about that was that we were all thugged-out. We really looked like we had just stepped out of a scene from “American Me” or maybe “Blood in-Blood Out”. And this dude, was WHITE to say the least. I mean the epitomy of goofy whitedness. What was he thinking. He really was putting himself in a potentially dangerous situation. Lucky for him, we weren’t near as criminal as we looked on this particular day.

Now, when I say this dude was WHITE. Let me describe him to ya. He was a pretty big guy. He had kind of long straggly hair. He was wearing a “flap-hat” (I know you remember those) that was like pink and baby-blue. He had on rose colored sun-glasses, goofy teal colored shorts that were much too short, a tie-dyed shirt, and some flip-flops. It was like he did his shopping at the Salvation-Hippie-Army.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, he had just pulled over and said, “Get in.” So we did, one of my friends jumped in the front seat, while the rest of us jumped in the bed. He yelled, ” Where ya headin’?” over his stereo, which was blaring “Petra”(a Christian rock band of the late 80’s and early 90’s) of all things. So, I explained our situation and gave him directions to my apartment. Since we all did go to church, and we all knew who Petra was. I had to bring it to his attention, for some reason, that we knew who he was listening to. And that opened up a whole can of worms that I really didn’t want to open.

So this dude(We’ll call him Terry, for some reason that’s the name that keeps popping in my head) gets all excited. He starts telling us,” Dude, I knew you guys were Christians.” He talked with the inflection of a total surfer, my best reference would be “CRUSH” the sea turtle in “Finding Nemo”. He rambles on about what a coincidence and what-not for the whole 10 minutes to my apartment. We were really tripping out on this guy. You don’t really meet a whole lot of people like him in El Paso, Tx.

So we finally roll up to the crib and we start piling out of the “Ghetto Sled”. Then Terry says,”Hey dudes, I never part paths with other brothers in Christ without praying first. You dudes cool with that.” It was kind of strange, and I really wanted to go ahead and “part paths”, but he was entertaining to say the least so we invited him up. But we sure had an embarrassing surprise in store for us.

Apparently, some of the “Homies” had broken into my house that day to play a practical joke. I opened the door  (with Terry right behind me)to find my whole apartment decorated with about 100 or so pictures from a “porno mag” all strewn about the living room and kitchen. I believe there was even some mayonaisse involved to suggest the worst. I looked behind me to see that it was already too late. Terry had already let himself in. In the words of Popeye, “How embarraskin”. But Terry seemed totally oblivious to the situation, while he was aware of my embarrassment. Before I could even try to explain, he quickly cut me off saying,” Dude, I had friends like that in college. Don’t even worry about it. Hey, let’s get to prayin’ then I’ll be on my way.”

So as rediculous as it might sound, here we were. Four “thugs” and a wannabe surfer-hippie-Christian, all holding hands in a circle, standing on a floor covered in naked women. Then Terry started praying. Basically I was kind of just looking around, checking out this crazy scenario, and not much paying attention to what Terry was saying. That is, until Terry stopped praying in mid-sentence…..

Terry pointed right at me and said,”Whoa, Dude, No Way! Dude, I had no idea I was in the room with such a man of God. Are you excited? Dude, you are gonna lead so many people to Christ. This is AWESOME.” Now, I had been told this kind of stuff all of my life, being a PK and all. To be honest, I was quite “over it” at this period of my life. In fact, the reason for my lifestyle during this period of my life, was to get all of these “so-called prophets” off of my back. So of course, I was cynical. I said, “Really, and when does this all happen?” To which Terry replied, ” Dude, you are gonna be like a pastor of thousands in the Dallas, Tx. area. I don’t know when, but you’ll see. You’ve been called buddy-boy.” Then he left.

I was kind of floored. It took me a minute to get it together. When I finally did, I realized that I had a few more questions for this guy. I ran outside to flag him down, but alas there was no trace of him or the El Camino. Wow, he was quick. I was left with so much unanswered. The funny part about all of this, is that about 3 nights later at a Bible study at my girl-friends house, the Pastor of her church pretty much re-played the whole scene for me.

Now, I am nowhere near being any kind of Messenger of God. I’ve definitely got my issues. But I can say that when I have shared this particular story with others, the general concensus has been that I was visited by some sort of Angel. Hey, who knows where my life is leading. If you told me 10 years ago that my life would be the way it currently is, I wouldn’t have believed you. What I can say, is that I will never forget the day that “Timothy” broke down.

So that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. If you have an opinion (or even some kind of prophecy). I’m all ears, or eyes in this case. Let me know what you think…..CHEERS

I know, I know. I disappeared for a while there. It has seemed lately that there is just not enough time in the day for all of my “projects”. I currently have 2 jobs, I dabble in affiliate marketing, I spend a lot of time surfing the traffic exchanges for various reasons, I am involved in some MLM programs, all in the effort of trying to “get mine”. There are a few methods that work, i.e. the “Power Surf Formula” (which is FREE to get started, by the way). While I am building SOME residual income, it is definitely not a get rich quick method.

Anyway, I know I have neglected my “audience” here for some time, and want to make up for it. I have a doozy here for today. People have expressed some interest in the fact that I was at one time “homeless”. Some want to hear the whole story, some do not believe me, and others want to know how I actually overcame that obstacle and have gotten where I am today. Well, I guess after reading this story, you can form your own opinion. Was it luck? The hand of God? Karma? Coincidence? Or whatever you believe in. All I know is, I got a 2nd chance. So here we go…….

HOMELESS & HOPELESS

OK, So how did it all happen? Well, right around the first of Dec. in ‘97  was when I had been fired from my job due to my  “record mix up” in El Paso. I was a little embarrassed and ready to leave  El Paso. I had decided to move to Houston, where my sister lived. I stayed with her for a few weeks until right after Christmas, during that time I looked for employment to no avail. I had thought that my ordeal had all been cleared up as promised, but for some reason I couldn’t even get a bite as far as employment went. I knew I needed to get out of her hair, not for her sake but it hurt my pride to be living off of her, especially while she was a newlywed with a new baby. Fortunately, some friends I had made while living in Norfolk, Va. had been in touch with me for a while and had offered to let me come back and stay with them until I could find a job and get back on my feet.

I said my good-byes on New Years Day, and took a Greyhound back to Va.. You see, I had already had my car repossessed, due to non-payment, so I really arrived back in Va. with all of my belongings fitting into my old Navy sea-bag. Talk about traveling light. After about a 3 day trip, due to bad weather, I finally arrived in Norfolk. The first few days were cool. We were all happy to see each other, and they had the satisfaction of “helping someone who was down and out”. I felt like I was with family.

Of course, while I was living there I was looking for a job. Once again, I just couldn’t seem to land anything. I knew I could get a job tending bar somewhere, but due to my hosts’ faith, I was not allowed to seek that type of employment, and still live in their house. I was, after all, better than that. I tried getting other jobs, but since I didn’t have a car, and (unbeknownst to me) I had a dirty “Criminal Background Check”, I wasn’t having any luck. Apparently, they found out somehow that I had applied for a few bartender gigs, and finally asked me to leave. To be fair, they had no idea about my situation (I really didn’t understand the magnitude of it myself). It had only been a few weeks but here I was a 25 year old man who couldn’t get a job, in their eyes. I graciously thanked them for trying to help, packed up my sea-bag, and hit the bricks.

I still had a few “old friends” in the area, so I figured I would be alright. I had about $40.00 in my pocket, and that was about all I had to my name. I initially stayed a couple of nights with a friend I had known for a while. He still lived with his parents and was hiding me out in his garage. After the second night sleeping in the cold, hard floor. I was awakened by a huge cockroach crawling across my face. Yuck! I asked if I could leave my stuff there, put some clothes in a shopping bag, and was on my way.

I then walked about 10 miles to another friends house. Stayed one night, and woke up to the sound of he and his wife fighting because he had some “homeless guy” sleeping in their living room. That’s when it all hit me that I was actually homeless. I asked if I could take a shower, and wash my clothes. He of course said yes, he actually was a good friend. I said my thank yous and good-byes then headed to the bus stop so I could get down to Virginia Beach. I was now down to my last few bucks, which I used sparingly, mostly for bus fare so I could get around town. I also had my “Big Gulp” cup for my 50 cent re-fills. You’ve got to be thrifty when you’re on the streets.lol

I found another old friend who lived in Va. Beach who let me crash for 2 nights before his wife started wanting money from me, which I didn’t have. Same old story. Then I was out of options. Through this final friend I met a gracious, old, retired gentlemen, who for some reason had a soft spot for me. While he and his wife had no room for “company”, he did let me stop by a few times in the following weeks to do some odd jobs for him. For which he would let me shower, feed me breakfast, wash my clothes, and give me 20 dollars. Then I would be on my way. I wish I could remember his name or even his exact address so I could go see him. But for the life of me, everytime I go back to that neighborhood, I can’t seem to pin-point his house, or street for that matter. Which is really strange considering my memory.

During these 3 weeks, I mostly just wandered around down at the Oceanfront. It was really cold, but I had a very heavy leather jacket that kept me warm in the daytime, and served as a blanket at night. I actually still have that jacket, I won’t part with it due to sentmental value, but my wife really hates it.lol. It really is ugly. Anyway, I kind of just depressingly existed during this time. I would use the money that “the gentleman” gave me for food and bus fare so I could go see him every few days when the money ran out. Occasionally, true to my “bum” standard, I would get myself a couple of 40’s of Malt Liquor beer. A couple of those, mixed with my situation, put some really bad thoughts in my head. That was a bad recipe for sure.

I don’t really remember alot about this time frame. I mostly was on my guard at all times. Afraid of being robbed by another “bum” for my jacket. I only slept whenever I could no longer hold my eyes open. Then I would find a bench on the boardwalk that wasn’t already taken. I did try a homeless shelter once when it was snowing. It was worse than jail, I decided I would rather take my chances on the streets. Then, finally, my luck changed.

It was 2:30am. Two and a half hours before, I had officially turned 26. I was on my favorite bench looking out at the ocean. It was about 25-30 degrees outside and raining. I was wrapped up in my jacket, and to be honest, I probably had more tears on my face than rain-drops. It was a pretty rough night for me, all things considered. I noticed an obviously innebriated man walking by. I still remember him in detail. He had on a black leather jacket, a dark braided pony-tail, a beard, jeans (Levi’s to be exact), and a wallet hanging on a chain that was attached to his belt loop. I couldn’t sleep anyway, so I decided to follow him. I don’t really know why, in my mind I wanted to protect him from a robbery, he looked like to easy of a target. I followerd him from a distance for what seemed like an hour. He had stumbled about 20 blocks down the boardwalk, then had turned into a neighborhood. After a couple of more blocks, he made it to a park. This park had public restrooms. He then laid down next to the restrooms and passed out. I was worried that he was going to get robbed, his wallet was actually laying beside him, still on the chain. I went and gingerly woke his drunk butt up. I said, ” Dude, you’ve got to get up and get it together. Someone’s gonna end up robbing you.” He looked around for a second, almost got his bearings, then passed back out. I awoke him again, telling him the same thing. He looked me dead in the face, said,”F@%^ YOU, Go ahead and take it.” Then he handed me his wallet and passed back out. I contemplated the situation, opened it up, and reluctantly took the $247.00 that was in there. I felt terrible, but, Happy Birthday to me.

I waited until the buses started running again, and took the bus back to Norfolk. I stopped in at the house where I had stayed just a few weeks ago to pick up a few things I had forgotten. Lo and behold, there was a birthday card there that my grandparents had sent me. Enclosed in the card was a check for $250.00. Which is really weird considering the biggest birthday gift I had ever received from them was $25.00. I then walked to my friends house where my sea-bag was stored (collecting roaches), picked that up. Then walked to a check cashing place to cash my B-day check. From there, I walked to a cheap flea-bag hotel, purchased a room and paid for two weeks in advance. Then I went grocery shopping. By two o’clock that afternoon, I had a job at a nearby night-club where I was to start the following day.

Within 2 weeks from that day, a bouncer from work (with whom I am still friends with to this day) offered to let me move into his spare bedroom. I lived there for about 6 months, until I got my own apartment. From there sooo much has happened, but to make this really long story come to an end I will say that 11 years later I live in a house that I own. I have a beautiful family, with a new addition on the way. And believe me I appeciate every bit of it. On my birthday every year I make sure to take the time to reflect on that birhtday in 1998, and how much the Lord has blessed me since then.

You’re probably wondering why I have chosen to share this somewhat shameful story. I really can’t say. I just feel that there might be someone out there who feels that things are hopeless right now, especially with this economy, and they might be considering giving up. I’m telling you right now that I have been there. Times have not been all peaches and cream since then, I can assure you. But what I can say, and know to be true, is that this too shall pass. You just have to push through it, and have a little faith.

AND for all of those who have helped along the way….. I thank, Love, and appreciate you all. If you know anyone who might be encouraged by this story, please pass it on.

FIRST DAY IN EL PASO

This is where it all began. This is where my life changed and twisted in a totally different direction. My Dad had recently announced that we were moving to El Paso, Tx. Here we were living outside of Frankfort, Ky., living the “Country” life. But it was time to move on. My Dad said that God had spoken to him, and told him that he needed to be reaching those “Heathen-Catholic Mexicans”. I always suspected that my Dad’s life-long friend, who was stationed in El Paso and was trying to start a Baptist Church, was really the “Voice of God” he was hearing. But I guess that was neither here nor there. I mean God does work in mysterious ways, right?
So we loaded up a moving truck, piled the five of us in the car, and took off on our 2,000 mile journey to our new home. I don’t remember much of the actual trip, but there was one moment that kinda sticks out in my mind. We were about 60 mles away from our destination. My sister and I had just figured out how many licks it really took to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-roll-pop. I was honing my Rubik’s cube skills, my sister was mixing it up and timing me with a stop-watch as I solved it, that was actually the first time that I solved it in under a minute (:58 to be exact). My mom was drawing the beautiful mountain scenery with her colored pencils on a sketch pad. She was a gifted artist, always very creative. My very insightful (almost psychic) sister got my attention, pointed at Mom, and with a sad look in her eyes told me, “We’ll never see Mom draw again.” I thought that was a weird statement from a 7-year-old, but turns out she was right. El Paso seems to suck the creativity right out of you. Must be the water.
About an hour later we pulled up in front of our new house. It wasn’t much. It was the first time any of us had seen it. You see, the members of the church had picked it out in our absence, and seeing as that the church had only 9 members, they couldn’t afford the rent for much better. LUCKY US! To tell the truth, I was actually pretty excited, the newness of anything pretty much excited me. We all went inside, decided where everything was to be placed, and left it to the movers to set up our “casa”.
Here is where the “Culture Shock” actually set in. Looking around, we could see the curious neighbors checking us out. It seemed like they all knew who we were already, there was pointing and talking, but we couldn’t understand a word being said. Then finally, my prized possesion (my bike) came off the truck. I jumped right on it and started riding in circles in front of the house. I soon got bored with that and I really wanted to go exploring, (must of been the country-boy in me). I asked my Dad if I could ride around the block real quick to check things out. Dad was excited and in a good mood so he of course said,”yes”. I think I was probably being annoying, trying to help. So anything to get me out of the way seemed like a good idea.
I took off on my bike, wide-eyed and full of excitement. I got to the end of the block and noticed there was a park right at the corner. I pulled into the park, excited that there was a place to play all my sports, whenever I wanted. There was a basketball court, a big field for football, and a playground. JACKPOT! Then I heard someone say, “Hey!” I looked around the corner and saw a group of Hispanic kids on bicycles, they were dressed so weird to me, all wearing T-shirts and khakis with their hair all slicked back. I later found out that they were referred to as “Cholos” or in this case since they were between the ages of 10-13 I guess theywere really “Cholitos”. Then one said to the others,”That’s the keed who stoole mi bicicleta.” I had no idea what that meant, but the way they looked at me and started running/riding toward me, I knew it wasn’t good. I took off like a shot, with about six of them right on my trail. I guess my reflexes or my legs were too slow, because they caught me pretty much immediately. After about 20 blows to the head and body, they finally wrestled my bike away from me and were gone. As theywere leaving I heard one of them laughingly yell, “Welcome to the hood, white boy!” That was when it really hit me that “I wasn’t in Kentucky anymore.”
That day really was the beginning. I got beat up alot more in the next few years. I also went through about 5 more bikes in the next 4 years. It got to where I knew I was getting a new bike for Christmas every year, and so was some kid in the next neighborhood. MINE!

If any of you have sen my Squidoo page, then you have already read this story, but I wanted to share it with everyone, soooooo……………………………

First Day of School

Alright, before I start, I have to explain a couple of things. First of all I grew up in the south, actually in Southeast Arkansas, during the 70’s. My Dad was a Baptist preacher. I had never even met an African- American in person, although I had seen some in my trips to town. Yes, I was really in the boonies. And my whole life up to this point I had only heard them referred to as the “N” word. With all that being said, please don’t judge me on this story. I was, as you will be able to tell, always a little different than my ignorant surroundings. So, with all that being said, I present my first day in kindergarten…….
So I got to school on my first day and in my small kindergarten class there were about 15 students. Only one of them, because of where we lived, was black. I still remember him like it was yesterday even though it was over 30 years ago. His name was Dell, he was funny, always smiling, and we hit it off immediately. We played together at recess, ate lunch together, and even attempted to take our naps right next to each other. Well, after nap-time, we were given our first real assignment.
See, I was really excited. My Mamaw was a kindergarten teacher in another town, and my mom was a stay-at-home mother, who was also a good teacher. So, by the time I had started kindergarten, I was already reading on a 3rd grade level, and could write pretty well as well. This was my chance to really show off to the teacher who still had no idea about my talents.
She handed out a picture for us to color. It was a picture of a boy playing with some toys. I was going to color the bestest picture ever. In honor of my new friend I decided to color the boy black. Actually, I decided to use brown to make it more authentic. I really took my time and colored in the lines,and when I was finished I was really proud of my masterpiece.But even in my 5 year old mind, I realized that coloring the boy brown may not be acceptable, so I felt it needed an explanation. Lucky for me I could write, and it would give me an excuse to show off my writing skills. Soooo, on the top of the paper I wrote ” I LIKE NI!@#$” (yes the “N” word). I really didn’t know any better. But that’s not the bad part….. I spelled the “N” word correctly, but I spelled “LIKE” L-I-C-K. Yes, on my first day of school, I let it be known, that I licked African-Americans.
To make matters worse, I got a FROWNY-FACE on my first school project. I cried in class. My teacher told my father. My father whooped the crap outta me when I got home (with a belt, mind you). I was made to apologize to Dell. And all this just for trying to be a good dude.
AND THAT WRAPS UP MY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!

I guess one of the most life-affecting things that has happened to me is my personal issue with “Criminal Identity Theft”. I need to go ahead and post this story because in one of my previous postings I had referred to my “handicap”, and I have had a few of my readers ask,”What exactly is your handicap?” This is not a physical handicap, but rather a handicap on my pursuit of happiness. So, I am posting this for a few reasons…….

1. To explain how “Criminal Identity Theft” can affect a persons life.

2. To hopefully attract interest in this story from influential people who can help me get my life back. (Attorneys, Media, Senators, Congress People, A.C.L.U., anybody who has not given me the chance to voice my situation)

I know that this story may not be as entertaining as others, but I am hoping it is informative. And that through this post, you the reader might take extra caution so as not to let this happen to you.

In Nov. of 1997 I had been hired as a Bar Manager for 3 bars at the Tigua Indian Reservation Casino just outside if El Paso, Tx. .On 12-1-1997, I was informed that they were going to have to “let me go” and withdraw their offer of employment due to some crimes showing up on my Criminal Background Check. They thought it was interesting that my CBC showed me as being currently incarcerated seeing as how I was standing there in front of them. They understood that it must be a mistake, they said that they really liked me and my work ethic, but all they could offer me was that if I got it all cleared up then I could re-apply after the standard 6 months that was part of their company policy. I was somewhat embarrassed, but I thanked them for their time and was on my way, very perplexed.

On 12-2-1997 I visited the El Paso Police Dept. to clear up the situation. After a fingerprint analysis I was informed that someone had used my ID at the time of their arrest. At that time Mr. Chavez(EPPD Records Dept.) showed me the mug shot of the person who had used my ID and asked if I knew the guy. I thought I recognized his face from the neighborhood and at Mr. Chavez’s desk I made a positive ID within 3 phone calls. I expressed my confusion to Mr. Chavez as to how this had happened. This guy looked nothing like me, was 4-6″ taller than me, and out-weighed me by about 40 lbs., and to top it all off I had been arrested in 1991 in El Paso, my hometown, for criminal trespassing. So they had my fingerprints and picture on file. He said he wasn’t sure how that could happen but that it would be all cleared up now. He thanked me for my time and help, then he gave me a signed and stamped letter stating that I had no record on file with the El Paso Police Dept.

Here is something reaaly interesting that I found out much later. Apparently, when this guy got arrested and gave them my name or ID, while being booked he refused to give them my personal info (because he didin’t know it). So the officers went back to my arrest sheet from 1991 (which was also a stupid arrest due to a couple of Hispanic cops wanting to mess with a White Boy,dismissed of course). They then pulled the info (Place of birth, SSN, Address, and other required info) and used that information to properly fill out their paperwork. On his arrest sheet, it lists him as 5′11′ and 155 lbs.. Which was my stats. While he was obviously well over 6′ and 220 lbs.. If that wasn’t a clue, then maybe the different fingerprints, or the different color eyes, different colored hair, or maybe the Mugshot picture, or maybe even the fact that the record they were pulling this info from was in 1991 which meant he would’ve been about 12-13, would’ve been some sort of clue. Those boys in blue sure pay atention to detail.

Embarrassed and then jobless, I decided to go back to Virginia Beach, Va. Where I had been stationed while I was enlisted in the USNAVY. So right after spending Christmas with the family I returned to VA. I made a few pit-stops along the way, working as a bartender in a couple of different cities, but eventually landed back here in Virginia Beach. After 2 months of trying to find a job here I found myself living on the streets. I did not put 2 and 2 together , I just assumed that for some reason or another I just wasn’t nailing my interviews, even though I had myself trained people on how to interview perspective employees. I had no reason to believe that these crimes were still on my record. Luckily I landed a job at a local bar and grill as a bartender and moved into a seedy pay- by-the-week hotel until I was able to get back on my feet. Which only took a couple of months. Thank God I am good with money.

It wasn’t until June of 2002 that I actually found out what was going on. I had been for years bartending, going to school, and searching for better employment to no avail. But in June I got a break, I had scored really high on the Postal Service entrance exam, plus I got 10 bonus points for being a Disabled Veteran and after an interview was eventually hired at the Post Office as a Carrier in Suffolk, Va.

I was ecstatic, to say the least. I put my house up for sale, quit my job, and was ready to move to Suffolk(about 45-50 miles away). On June 27 I was informed that these felonies were on my record and that he needed an explanation. I went there and hand- delivered the paperwork that Mr. Chavez had given me.I was told that the paperwork meant nothing to him, that it was the most absurd story he had ever heard, that he considered me dishonest for not putting these crimes on my application, and that he was withdrawing the offer of employment. I had already accepted a contract on my house, so….homeless again. Luckily I had already been approved for the loan for a new house so my wife and I decided to go ahead and sale our house and buy another, hoping something would come up. With what we made off of the house we were able to keep afloat for a few months. During this time, I had made a few phone calls but had been told that there was no way to get this off of my record, it would always be there. I got really depressed and dropped out of school, seeing as how I was going to school to be a teacher and there was no way I was ever going to get a teaching job with multiple felonies in my record, so what was the point really.

After that I took various bartending , waiting tables, and other under the table types of employment. Nothing satisfying or well paying to say the least, but it eliminated going through more embarrassing background checks. I grew up a preachers kid so the atmosphere of these bars didn’t really agree with my spirit anyway. At one particular bar that I worked at, I found out the owners daughter was an attorney. So I explained my situation to her and asked her for help. She said she couldn’t help but she would look into it. Eventually the owner used this information against me and pretty much had me black-balled from all bartending jobs in the area by calling the owners of other bars and telling them that I legally could not serve alcohol in the state of Va. because of my record. I felt hopeless I worked for a while as a repo-man, but because of my record I couldn’t get a weapons permit, and now with a little one at home it didn’t really seem like a good idea. My wife had been in a car accident and was unable to work for over a year because of her physical therapy appointments. So we were borrowing money from both of our families just to keep a roof over our heads. After we tapped out all of those resources we finally sold our house to avoid foreclosure. With the money we made off of the house and what my wife made off of her settlement we were able to pay back everybody we owed and just about break even.

Then things started to get interesting. I had taken a job delivering pizzas(no background check), and had worked my way up to a management offer, that did require a background check. Of course these charges came up again only this time it showed I was in prison for capitol murder. Apparently Mr. Jason Michael Newton had gotten out of jail and had killed someone, convicted under his own name, but because I was his ALIAS it also showed up on my CBC as well. That’s when I decided that enough was enough and I refused to be a victim anymore!!!!

I decided that I was going to spend every waking moment pushing to get this fixed. I started calling the records dept. in El Paso on a daily basis. Finally,after convincing her that I was not going away, I got a Ms. Daniels to put me in touch with the Senior Latent Fingerprint Examiner Mr. Bruce Orndorff.When I first told him my story he basically called me a liar until I sent him a copy of the documentation that I had received from Officer Chavez. He said that it was the wrong paperwork and that it had never been filed or recorded. He then had me send my fingerprints via the Norfolk Police Dept. Norfolk, Va. Then he sent me a letter  stating that those crimes were not mine. I thought it was over but not even close. Apparently in the Career world that piece of paperwork is just a red flag that the perspective employee has baggage. Also, I was once told that their insurance company would not let them hire me. I also found that in most cases there were other applicants that had no red flags or drama so the job went to the second best qualified. The only way to get past this was to get these charges completely off of my record. So I started a new mission.

First I got interviewed by the local news (WAVY10 on your side).They aired my story and did an investigative report(8-27-2006). I must say they made the EPPD look really stupid. But they ended the story by saying that the Attorney Generals office in Austin, Tx. Had looked into it and had said they would repair my record immediately. I was so excited, but when I (not an influential reporter) called to get everything fixed, they told me their hands were tied. Apparently to get an expongement necessitated a pardon from the governor, and in my situation I could not get a pardon because I had never committed a crime. Great! Gave up again, lost another house, same old same old. That’s when my sister got me in touch with BRIAN FALCO.

Brian Falco was a case worker at Identity Theft Solutions, based in California. He was the only caseworker that specialized in Criminal Identity Theft,pretty much in the whole USA. When he heard my case he said it was the perfect example of negligent Police Work and a records dept. that had no idea what they were doing so we had to go around them to get anywhere. Rejuvenated and with an ally, I started calling everyone I could think of, DPS, NCIC, the FBI(who by the way told me that the whole gov’t in the City of El Paso was under investigation for various corrupt acts) OOOPS did I say that? Eventually my contacts and referrals ended up full circle back to a Ms. Daniels in the record dept. of El Paso. When I called her she said that she did remember me and that nothing had changed and there was nothing she could do, and to STOP CALLING HER! Of course I didn’t stop and at one time she told me that she did sympathize but that I needed to take control of my life and drop it. To which I said, “When ya’ll relinquish control of my life I will take it right back.” I believe that got me a dial tone. Then Brian Falco called her and got a little farther. He finally got a contact by the name of Alfred Pineda who had just transferred there and was willing to help.

Al Pineda got me to send fingerprints again, and got an A.D.A. in El Paso by the name of Lisa Borden to take my case.(Of course with a lot of follow up from Brian and I).The first thing she did was get rid of the warrants, yes warrants for my arrest, in Texas. By the way all of my family lives in Tx. Where I couldn’t visit for fear of being arrested and held without bail on the account of being a flight risk. To make a really long story even shorter, eventually on Jan.30 2008( yes 10 years later) A judge in El Paso finally signed for the expongement of my record. The funny thing about all of that is that I was promised a copy of the expongement papers within 30 days. So after about 60 days Brian called Ms. Borden to find out where this paperwork is and when I would receive it. To which she replied we have no record of Mr. Shelby as far as we are concerned he never existed. So where did that leave me?

Well, apparently, it left me with an expongement (which just means that I was a Criminal that had gotten a pardon for Good Behaviour). The bad thing is that although my record had been legally exponged, it really did not mean anything. You see, there are thousands of little fly-by-night background check companies out there, and they work off of out-dated data-bases. I have even seen a CBC of mine come back with all of these crimes listed: 1.Evading Police. 2. Armed Robbery 3. Possesion of Stolen Vehicle 4. Possesion of Narcotics. 5.Capital Murder, and #6.Participation in Organized Criminal Activity. These are not only the convictions he got under my name, but also convictions under his own name that have been attatched to my Criminal Record because I am his Alias. I am told that  I could sue these background check companies, but they have so many disclaimers of how they are not responsible for what they report it is virtually impossible. I have found out that most of these CBC companies are owned by attorneys, who really know how to cover their tails.

So anyways, here’s where I stand today. After getting assigned another attorney with the Attorney General’s office in Austin,TX., we have been trying for months to get a copy of my expongement order that I can use to prove that these crimes are not mine (to CBC companies as well as perspective employers). Of coarse El Paso will not cooperate. After jumping through all of their hoops for the last few months, I finally finished the process of “correctly” requesting a copy of the order. I finally got a letter from the El Paso County Court Records Dept. stating that they have located the record and that I am welcome to “come pick it up” (yeah, right, I live on the East Coast). There are 2 conditions: I must give them 48 hrs. notice and I have to pick it up within 30 days of the day that the letter was written or the order would be destroyed. No problem. except that the letter was written on Dec.4th, but actually mailed on Dec. 17th, and I received it on Dec.22. Which means that the record will be “destroyed on Jan.3 according to the letter(that is today by the way),but their offices have been closed for the Holidays since Dec.23. How suspicious does that sound? My guess is that they don’t even have the paperwork, what would you think?

Here’s the kicker: Although I have every right to sue the crap out of El Paso County or the EPPD for all of their incompetence in this matter. I can not get an attorney to take the case because 1. I have to have an attorney licensed in the State ofTexas. 2. Even if I do, the County will claim “Sovereign Immunity” from such a lawsuit on the ground that none of my Civil Liberties have been violated.( I guess the right  to vote, the right to bear arms, and the right to the pursuit of happiness are no longer considered “Civil Liberties”.) And the only way to get past this is to get permission from the Governor of Texas to Civally Sue, and he has already stated through a liaison, that he does not wish to get involved.

To make matters even worse, the contacts in El Paso act like I should be Kissing their Royal Hineys due to the fact that they have finally fixed my situation legally. While here I am left with no legal documentation, and a crappy resume due to the lower-level jobs I have had to take due to these issues. So, if anybody has any ideas, any influential contacts, or any suggestions at all on what I should do next, please comment in the space provided below. But most importantly help me spread the word, tell everyone, forward this post to everybody you have contact with. Maybe eventually this post might save somebody years of trouble, and this story might just end up in the right hands. All I can say in words of advice, is that if you are innexplainably having problems finding employment or obtaining credit, do yourself a favor and get a Criminal Background Check done on yourself. If you are having a similar problem please feel free to contact me, I’ve been through the whole process. Believe me, I know what doesn’t work!



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For more to my story (and the quick version) click here http://www.identity-theft-scenarios.com/good-name-gone.html

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Well, it’s finally 2009. I wish everyone of you a prosperous New Year. As some of you know, my goal this year is to post 365 stories on this website, and to attract 1,000,000 readers. Basically just to see if I can do it. I was trying to pick a story that was fitting for such a good day. New Years Day is almost magical. You get a clean slate, you get to start over, you get to make and often break resolutions. But, what New Years Day means to us guys, is FOOTBALL. I’m actually trying to watch the Capital One Bowl (MSU vs. UGA) and can’t wait for the PASADENA ROSE BOWL (USC vs. PSU). Which brings me to today’s topic FOOTBALL. Yes, “Broken Helmet” has earned the first story spot for the New Year. Not because it’s one of my better ones, that’s for sure, but because it’s kinda cute and it’s been on my mind all day. So, here we go……….

BROKEN HELMET

As you know from my intro/bio, my family and I lived in SE Arkansas during my early childhood years. And if you have read “Redneck Christmas” you know that for my 4th Christmas I got a plastic helmet/shoulder-pads set. Now, if you are from the South and from the Country, then you know what the biggest gathering of all the locals is…….That’s right, The Friday Night High-School Football Game. Oh, it is so much fun. You get to see all of your friends and relatives. You get to see a good game. More often than not you get to see grown men fight on the sidelines. It’s one heck of a slapper-dasher-sasher. Well this one particular Friday night my Daddy and I had traveled to another town to watch Rison High (Where my Dad was like a football God) play an away game.

As we were walking by the Field House, I heard something that sounded like thunder coming from the field-house. Apparently, the Home team (I can’t remember who it was) was getting hyped up by running into the walls. Seriously, I know it sounds funny, but they were. I could here them as I got closer. They were saying,”Down, Set, Hut” and then you would here them just crash the wall. I thought these guys must be the toughest guys on earth. I was impressed and a little intimidated for my beloved Rison High. These guys just sounded MEAN. I don’t remember much more of the night(I was only 4 or maybe 5) except that my Uncle got into a potential fight, and of course had to come get my Dad to back him up. I think my Dad (The Preacher) actually decked a guy, Rison won, then we drove the hour and a half trip home.

The next day is the real story here, if you want stories about my crazy father, they’re coming I’m sure. Anyways, Saturday afternoon we were of course watching our Razorback’s on TV. Half-time came, and I was bored , so I disappeared to my room. Then coming from my room was a sound that shook the trailer. My parents came back to check on me, and what they found was me, fully padded, backing up for another shot at my bedroom wall. I was into it man. I had my helmet on, pads on, and was copying what I had experienced the night before. “Down, Set, Hut” and another launch at the wall that impressively once again shook the whole trailer. My Dad, a little amused, but even more so irritated, said,” Boy, if you’re so tough. Why don’t you go on out there and tackle one of them there trees in the yard.” To his surprise, out the door I went.

I picked out the biggest Oak in the yard. Pulled down hard on my red, plastic, helmet with the plastic face-mask, and the Razorback logo on the side. I backed up about 20 feet. I got in my 3-point stance. I said it once again, “Down, Set, Hut!“, and I took off as fast as I could. I lowered my head and BAM!!!! About 30 seconds later I woke up to find my Dad literally rolling in the driveway with laughter, Mom was behind him with a sick, worried look on her face. I ripped off my helmet and inspected it. It was split right down the middle. I took the helmet in my hand, said,“You stupid Helmet!”, and threw it into the woods. Who knows it’s probably still there. I never picked it up again.

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Ok, Salutations and Greetings to all. First of all I want to wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas. This will probably be my last post to this blog for the year 2008, so a Happy and Prosperous New Year to one and all, hopefully that includes ME. Don’t fret though, I am almost finished wrapping up all the back-end tedious stuff to this web-site. And my plan is to post a story a day in 2009. So visit often and get your daily dose. I was actually going to wait until Jan. 1 to write even this, but I got the itch so……….

Since paranormal shows seem to be the trend these days(Ghost Hunters, Ghost Hunters International, Ghost Adventures, Paranormal Stories, A Haunting, Scariest Places on Earth, and all the other shows we know and LOVE). I have decided to add a TRUE Ghost story of my own. Here goes.

One night in about 1990, I was leaving a friend’s house in Canutillo, NM., completely sober mind you, at about 1am. I was going to stay at my Mom’s house in El Paso,TX. because I was borrowing her car (a Nissan Sentra) and she needed it the next morning. Now my friend lived in an area outside of Canutillo where there were only 4 houses on his road, and besides those four there were no houses for a couple of miles. I had just left his particular road and was traveling, at about 55mph, down a road that was about 2 miles long, no houses, no street lights, only Pecan trees as far as the eyes could see on both sides of the road. So this road was pretty SCARY in its own right, without any craziness. But wait ’til ya hear what happened next.

As I was speeding along, as I always did at the age of 18. I saw a pretty weird site about 1/4 mile ahead. It looked like a person walking about 7 or 8 dogs, all on leashes. The dogs looked like German Shepherds, or maybe Huskies. As I got closer I noticed that one of the dogs was in the middle of the street, so I did what anybody would do and tried to flash my brights as a warning that I was coming. Well in that Sentra the way to turn on the brights was on the same lever on the left of the steering wheel that also had a turny-knob on the end that turned the headlights off/on. So you guesed it, as I was trying to FLASH I accidentally turned my headlights OFF. I kinda freaked out, but managed to get the lights back on, just in time to see myself hit the dogs at about 55mph.

I, of course, immediately slammed on my breaks and skidded to a stop. All I could think about was the person holding the leash. I was like, “What have I done?”. Now it took me probably a good 200 feet to come to a complete stop, and I was really afraid that I had dragged this poor person the whole way. When I finally did come to a complete stop, I threw the car in reverse so I could help, assess the situation, and assume fault. As I put the car in reverse, I looked back before backing up, using my reverse lights to make sure I didn’t back over anything. As soon as my reverse lights came on, to my horror I saw the person. It was gruesome, and gives me chills to even write about it, but he/she was wearing a long black hooded robe, and had a hideous white,white, white face. He/she had both palms down on the trunk of my car, and an evil look on his/her pale white face. Now, I am not scared of much, but I felt sheer terror. I threw the car in first and tore outta there. The only thing racing faster than the car was my heart. It was the longest, fastest drive to my mom’s that I had ever experienced.

In retrospect, I realize that at that time I really thought that I had just stared DEATH in the face. This thing really looked like my idea of The Grim Reaper. As the sleepless night went by, and morning came. I had spent the whole night trying to logically explain to myself what had happened. The next day, as soon as I thought my friend was awake, I called him. I didn’t want to say too much right off the bat, so I fished round. I asked him if any of his neighbors had mentioned anything about any of their dogs. He said that none of his neighbors had a dog, except for maybe a little Yorkie a couple of houses down. He, of course, asked me why I was asking. After I related the whole story to him, he said, (and this is the kicker) ” Dude, I’m not trying to freak you out, but the same thing happened to my dad last week.” No explanation, no joke. It was just one of those unexplainable mysteries that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Got a similar story? I’d love to hear it. Just throw it in the comment box. CHEERS

OKAY, So you know my story. Like I said I will definitely fill in the blanks with my stories. I just wanted you to understand that my stories come from a Crazy life full of experiences. As you also know from Intro4, I am looking for my own piece of the pie and due to my handicap I have turned to trying to make my own way and not depend on the employment of others. So these blogs are, I admit, in that effort. I am trying to learn how to generate income through my writing. I am a novice at all this computer stuff, but I feel like I am intelligent enough to pull it off. And I am going to take you with me every step of the way. Cool, huh?

So this post is not a story, but some interesting things I have picked up in my quest to making it on my own. Check this out!

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We all do things for different reasons, and that is also true with blogging. Some bloggers just want to share individual experiences to love ones, talk about what interests them, and in many cases to make money. There are many successful bloggers who earn hundreds, or even thousands of dollars in a very short time especially when done appropriately.

Today’s blogging scene offers monetization options that many do not know about. You can find direct advertising options as well as affiliate offers. There are endless possibilities of earning money through blogging. However, without TRAFFIC, these options will definitely not work. If your blog site doesn’t have enough traffic, you will not earn any money.

Whenever I find out how to get TRAFFIC, I’ll let you know. Obviously, I haven’t got much yet myself. BUT there is plenty more information you can find in this Special FREE REPORT. This post was actually an exerpt from the FREE report, (I LOVE FREE) “Blogging for Dollars” So Check it out NOW! I’ll let you know how it’s working for me. Please feel free to follow up with me with your feedback.

It’s about time to wrap this thing up. I’ve got an itchin’ for some story-telling. This auto-biographical stuff is depressin’, but I guess I owe it to you, the reader. I left off back in VA., so that’s where I’ll pick up. OKAY? By the way, I do have my first story up HERE

I had by some chance been convinced to move back to Virginia by a family I had met in a church I had attended when i had lived here before. I was in DIRE STRAITS (not the band) at the time, had no car, and nothing really holding me anywhere. They offered to let me stay with them until I got employment (they had no idea about my IDTheft). I took them up on the offer, they were really nice people, and I had a little crush on their daughter, all in favor? But as problems seem to follow me…..I had a dilemna. Their offer ended up with a condition. I couldn’t bartend and stay with them, it was against their beliefs and I was better than that, so they said. Well I couldn’t get a job any other way, and I didn’t want them to hear about my background check (how do you explain that?). So, I graciously moved out, with no place to go. I ended up officially HOMELESS for over 3 weeks. I will tell you all about my HOMELESS experience at a later date.

Luckily, a miracle happened and I came up with over $300. and a job, all on the same day. I got a hotel room for a week, and started tending bar at a “really dark” nightclub. I met a bouncer who became a good friend(still to this day), who let me move in with him for 6 months while his wife was at sea. I then met a Mexican girl, who reminded me of home. She had 3 kids who I loved very much, despite that I had stopped liking her early in the relationship. Nonetheless we ended up getting married, she cheated, got a divorce, all in a year. I don’t play that, but we were both bartenders, with not alot of morals at the time, so it was expected I guess. Then about a year later I met the LOVE of MY LIFE! WHOOPPEE!!!!

Actually, I had met my wife now while I was still married, but just as a customer. We actually were friends for a while, hung out with the same crowd,etc…But we finally figured out that we were for each other after over a year of hangin out. Then we were engaged for a year, then married, 6 years and countin’ :).I REALLY RECOMMEND MARRYING A FRIEND. We’ve been through alot together, and are still fighting battles, but together, I finally have a team-mate.

Well, since getting married, it’s been kind of a blur. Our first-born (Emily, Daddy Loves You) was born still-born, it was very devastating for both of us. I will eventually fight the tears and tell you all about those 2 days that my time stood still. But on the bright side, our daughter was born 1 1/2 hours short of exactly 1 year later, and she has been a blessing for over 4 years now. Besides that tragedy, we are still fighting my ID theft. I actually, after 10 years got an expongement of my record back in January. I still show up negatively on most background checks. That sucks! I have been told that I probably will never get a job that I deserve, but I’ve proven them all wrong. I am now officially a P.D.D for a Nationally Recognized Company. That’s right……a Pizza Delivery Driver for Papa John’s. YUK! See you in Story-Land!

CHEERS