FIRST DAY IN EL PASO

This is where it all began. This is where my life changed and twisted in a totally different direction. My Dad had recently announced that we were moving to El Paso, Tx. Here we were living outside of Frankfort, Ky., living the “Country” life. But it was time to move on. My Dad said that God had spoken to him, and told him that he needed to be reaching those “Heathen-Catholic Mexicans”. I always suspected that my Dad’s life-long friend, who was stationed in El Paso and was trying to start a Baptist Church, was really the “Voice of God” he was hearing. But I guess that was neither here nor there. I mean God does work in mysterious ways, right?
So we loaded up a moving truck, piled the five of us in the car, and took off on our 2,000 mile journey to our new home. I don’t remember much of the actual trip, but there was one moment that kinda sticks out in my mind. We were about 60 mles away from our destination. My sister and I had just figured out how many licks it really took to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-roll-pop. I was honing my Rubik’s cube skills, my sister was mixing it up and timing me with a stop-watch as I solved it, that was actually the first time that I solved it in under a minute (:58 to be exact). My mom was drawing the beautiful mountain scenery with her colored pencils on a sketch pad. She was a gifted artist, always very creative. My very insightful (almost psychic) sister got my attention, pointed at Mom, and with a sad look in her eyes told me, “We’ll never see Mom draw again.” I thought that was a weird statement from a 7-year-old, but turns out she was right. El Paso seems to suck the creativity right out of you. Must be the water.
About an hour later we pulled up in front of our new house. It wasn’t much. It was the first time any of us had seen it. You see, the members of the church had picked it out in our absence, and seeing as that the church had only 9 members, they couldn’t afford the rent for much better. LUCKY US! To tell the truth, I was actually pretty excited, the newness of anything pretty much excited me. We all went inside, decided where everything was to be placed, and left it to the movers to set up our “casa”.
Here is where the “Culture Shock” actually set in. Looking around, we could see the curious neighbors checking us out. It seemed like they all knew who we were already, there was pointing and talking, but we couldn’t understand a word being said. Then finally, my prized possesion (my bike) came off the truck. I jumped right on it and started riding in circles in front of the house. I soon got bored with that and I really wanted to go exploring, (must of been the country-boy in me). I asked my Dad if I could ride around the block real quick to check things out. Dad was excited and in a good mood so he of course said,”yes”. I think I was probably being annoying, trying to help. So anything to get me out of the way seemed like a good idea.
I took off on my bike, wide-eyed and full of excitement. I got to the end of the block and noticed there was a park right at the corner. I pulled into the park, excited that there was a place to play all my sports, whenever I wanted. There was a basketball court, a big field for football, and a playground. JACKPOT! Then I heard someone say, “Hey!” I looked around the corner and saw a group of Hispanic kids on bicycles, they were dressed so weird to me, all wearing T-shirts and khakis with their hair all slicked back. I later found out that they were referred to as “Cholos” or in this case since they were between the ages of 10-13 I guess theywere really “Cholitos”. Then one said to the others,”That’s the keed who stoole mi bicicleta.” I had no idea what that meant, but the way they looked at me and started running/riding toward me, I knew it wasn’t good. I took off like a shot, with about six of them right on my trail. I guess my reflexes or my legs were too slow, because they caught me pretty much immediately. After about 20 blows to the head and body, they finally wrestled my bike away from me and were gone. As theywere leaving I heard one of them laughingly yell, “Welcome to the hood, white boy!” That was when it really hit me that “I wasn’t in Kentucky anymore.”
That day really was the beginning. I got beat up alot more in the next few years. I also went through about 5 more bikes in the next 4 years. It got to where I knew I was getting a new bike for Christmas every year, and so was some kid in the next neighborhood. MINE!

Tags: Add new tag, Baptist Church, Cholo, El Paso, TX.
Posted in Blogging Ventures, INTRO TO ME, Preachers Kid, Stories and tales | 5 Comments »

If any of you have sen my Squidoo page, then you have already read this story, but I wanted to share it with everyone, soooooo……………………………

First Day of School

Alright, before I start, I have to explain a couple of things. First of all I grew up in the south, actually in Southeast Arkansas, during the 70’s. My Dad was a Baptist preacher. I had never even met an African- American in person, although I had seen some in my trips to town. Yes, I was really in the boonies. And my whole life up to this point I had only heard them referred to as the “N” word. With all that being said, please don’t judge me on this story. I was, as you will be able to tell, always a little different than my ignorant surroundings. So, with all that being said, I present my first day in kindergarten…….
So I got to school on my first day and in my small kindergarten class there were about 15 students. Only one of them, because of where we lived, was black. I still remember him like it was yesterday even though it was over 30 years ago. His name was Dell, he was funny, always smiling, and we hit it off immediately. We played together at recess, ate lunch together, and even attempted to take our naps right next to each other. Well, after nap-time, we were given our first real assignment.
See, I was really excited. My Mamaw was a kindergarten teacher in another town, and my mom was a stay-at-home mother, who was also a good teacher. So, by the time I had started kindergarten, I was already reading on a 3rd grade level, and could write pretty well as well. This was my chance to really show off to the teacher who still had no idea about my talents.
She handed out a picture for us to color. It was a picture of a boy playing with some toys. I was going to color the bestest picture ever. In honor of my new friend I decided to color the boy black. Actually, I decided to use brown to make it more authentic. I really took my time and colored in the lines,and when I was finished I was really proud of my masterpiece.But even in my 5 year old mind, I realized that coloring the boy brown may not be acceptable, so I felt it needed an explanation. Lucky for me I could write, and it would give me an excuse to show off my writing skills. Soooo, on the top of the paper I wrote ” I LIKE NI!@#$” (yes the “N” word). I really didn’t know any better. But that’s not the bad part….. I spelled the “N” word correctly, but I spelled “LIKE” L-I-C-K. Yes, on my first day of school, I let it be known, that I licked African-Americans.
To make matters worse, I got a FROWNY-FACE on my first school project. I cried in class. My teacher told my father. My father whooped the crap outta me when I got home (with a belt, mind you). I was made to apologize to Dell. And all this just for trying to be a good dude.
AND THAT WRAPS UP MY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!

Tags: First day of school
Posted in Preachers Kid, Stories and tales | 2 Comments »

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Well, it’s finally 2009. I wish everyone of you a prosperous New Year. As some of you know, my goal this year is to post 365 stories on this website, and to attract 1,000,000 readers. Basically just to see if I can do it. I was trying to pick a story that was fitting for such a good day. New Years Day is almost magical. You get a clean slate, you get to start over, you get to make and often break resolutions. But, what New Years Day means to us guys, is FOOTBALL. I’m actually trying to watch the Capital One Bowl (MSU vs. UGA) and can’t wait for the PASADENA ROSE BOWL (USC vs. PSU). Which brings me to today’s topic FOOTBALL. Yes, “Broken Helmet” has earned the first story spot for the New Year. Not because it’s one of my better ones, that’s for sure, but because it’s kinda cute and it’s been on my mind all day. So, here we go……….

BROKEN HELMET

As you know from my intro/bio, my family and I lived in SE Arkansas during my early childhood years. And if you have read “Redneck Christmas” you know that for my 4th Christmas I got a plastic helmet/shoulder-pads set. Now, if you are from the South and from the Country, then you know what the biggest gathering of all the locals is…….That’s right, The Friday Night High-School Football Game. Oh, it is so much fun. You get to see all of your friends and relatives. You get to see a good game. More often than not you get to see grown men fight on the sidelines. It’s one heck of a slapper-dasher-sasher. Well this one particular Friday night my Daddy and I had traveled to another town to watch Rison High (Where my Dad was like a football God) play an away game.

As we were walking by the Field House, I heard something that sounded like thunder coming from the field-house. Apparently, the Home team (I can’t remember who it was) was getting hyped up by running into the walls. Seriously, I know it sounds funny, but they were. I could here them as I got closer. They were saying,”Down, Set, Hut” and then you would here them just crash the wall. I thought these guys must be the toughest guys on earth. I was impressed and a little intimidated for my beloved Rison High. These guys just sounded MEAN. I don’t remember much more of the night(I was only 4 or maybe 5) except that my Uncle got into a potential fight, and of course had to come get my Dad to back him up. I think my Dad (The Preacher) actually decked a guy, Rison won, then we drove the hour and a half trip home.

The next day is the real story here, if you want stories about my crazy father, they’re coming I’m sure. Anyways, Saturday afternoon we were of course watching our Razorback’s on TV. Half-time came, and I was bored , so I disappeared to my room. Then coming from my room was a sound that shook the trailer. My parents came back to check on me, and what they found was me, fully padded, backing up for another shot at my bedroom wall. I was into it man. I had my helmet on, pads on, and was copying what I had experienced the night before. “Down, Set, Hut” and another launch at the wall that impressively once again shook the whole trailer. My Dad, a little amused, but even more so irritated, said,” Boy, if you’re so tough. Why don’t you go on out there and tackle one of them there trees in the yard.” To his surprise, out the door I went.

I picked out the biggest Oak in the yard. Pulled down hard on my red, plastic, helmet with the plastic face-mask, and the Razorback logo on the side. I backed up about 20 feet. I got in my 3-point stance. I said it once again, “Down, Set, Hut!“, and I took off as fast as I could. I lowered my head and BAM!!!! About 30 seconds later I woke up to find my Dad literally rolling in the driveway with laughter, Mom was behind him with a sick, worried look on her face. I ripped off my helmet and inspected it. It was split right down the middle. I took the helmet in my hand, said,“You stupid Helmet!”, and threw it into the woods. Who knows it’s probably still there. I never picked it up again.

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Tags: Arkansas, Broken Helmet, earn income blogging, Football, Razorbacks, Rison High School
Posted in Blogging Ventures, Preachers Kid, Stories and tales | 3 Comments »

Ok, Salutations and Greetings to all. First of all I want to wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas. This will probably be my last post to this blog for the year 2008, so a Happy and Prosperous New Year to one and all, hopefully that includes ME. Don’t fret though, I am almost finished wrapping up all the back-end tedious stuff to this web-site. And my plan is to post a story a day in 2009. So visit often and get your daily dose. I was actually going to wait until Jan. 1 to write even this, but I got the itch so……….

Since paranormal shows seem to be the trend these days(Ghost Hunters, Ghost Hunters International, Ghost Adventures, Paranormal Stories, A Haunting, Scariest Places on Earth, and all the other shows we know and LOVE). I have decided to add a TRUE Ghost story of my own. Here goes.

One night in about 1990, I was leaving a friend’s house in Canutillo, NM., completely sober mind you, at about 1am. I was going to stay at my Mom’s house in El Paso,TX. because I was borrowing her car (a Nissan Sentra) and she needed it the next morning. Now my friend lived in an area outside of Canutillo where there were only 4 houses on his road, and besides those four there were no houses for a couple of miles. I had just left his particular road and was traveling, at about 55mph, down a road that was about 2 miles long, no houses, no street lights, only Pecan trees as far as the eyes could see on both sides of the road. So this road was pretty SCARY in its own right, without any craziness. But wait ’til ya hear what happened next.

As I was speeding along, as I always did at the age of 18. I saw a pretty weird site about 1/4 mile ahead. It looked like a person walking about 7 or 8 dogs, all on leashes. The dogs looked like German Shepherds, or maybe Huskies. As I got closer I noticed that one of the dogs was in the middle of the street, so I did what anybody would do and tried to flash my brights as a warning that I was coming. Well in that Sentra the way to turn on the brights was on the same lever on the left of the steering wheel that also had a turny-knob on the end that turned the headlights off/on. So you guesed it, as I was trying to FLASH I accidentally turned my headlights OFF. I kinda freaked out, but managed to get the lights back on, just in time to see myself hit the dogs at about 55mph.

I, of course, immediately slammed on my breaks and skidded to a stop. All I could think about was the person holding the leash. I was like, “What have I done?”. Now it took me probably a good 200 feet to come to a complete stop, and I was really afraid that I had dragged this poor person the whole way. When I finally did come to a complete stop, I threw the car in reverse so I could help, assess the situation, and assume fault. As I put the car in reverse, I looked back before backing up, using my reverse lights to make sure I didn’t back over anything. As soon as my reverse lights came on, to my horror I saw the person. It was gruesome, and gives me chills to even write about it, but he/she was wearing a long black hooded robe, and had a hideous white,white, white face. He/she had both palms down on the trunk of my car, and an evil look on his/her pale white face. Now, I am not scared of much, but I felt sheer terror. I threw the car in first and tore outta there. The only thing racing faster than the car was my heart. It was the longest, fastest drive to my mom’s that I had ever experienced.

In retrospect, I realize that at that time I really thought that I had just stared DEATH in the face. This thing really looked like my idea of The Grim Reaper. As the sleepless night went by, and morning came. I had spent the whole night trying to logically explain to myself what had happened. The next day, as soon as I thought my friend was awake, I called him. I didn’t want to say too much right off the bat, so I fished round. I asked him if any of his neighbors had mentioned anything about any of their dogs. He said that none of his neighbors had a dog, except for maybe a little Yorkie a couple of houses down. He, of course, asked me why I was asking. After I related the whole story to him, he said, (and this is the kicker) ” Dude, I’m not trying to freak you out, but the same thing happened to my dad last week.” No explanation, no joke. It was just one of those unexplainable mysteries that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Got a similar story? I’d love to hear it. Just throw it in the comment box. CHEERS

Tags: Add new tag, Ghost Dog, Ghost story, Grim reaper
Posted in Stories and tales, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Sorry, its been a few days since my last post. I have just found out that you can actually make money by blooging. Wouldn’t that be convenient. I have been doing a little research, but to be honest with you I’m kinda scared to spend any money. I know they say it takes money to make money but I am fearful of being scammed. So if anyone else wants to try or recommend this product before I shell out feel free. I am in the process of completing this one and it is pretty informative. When I finish I’ll let you know how it is working for me, but I must say it has gotten me this far, which is far more than expected for a CPU novice like myself. So….back to my life.

So May 5,1992…..BOOT CAMP!  That was where I last left off. I joined the Navy and started boot camp on that day. Good stories from there I assure you. After a couple of months of becoming a man, I was shipped to my A-School in Virginia Beach, VA. After 3 months of A-school and partying…HIP-HIP off to my ship. I actually met my ship after a 3 week stay in Sigonella, Cicily, I was helicoptered right on to the ship. How Cool! I toured the Mediterranean for a few months before returning to Norfolk, Va. I actually got to visit some pretty cool places. Italy, France, Israel, Greece, and Spain. I’ll tell ya all about that later. Then due to a 3 month bout with Pneumonia I was released from the Navy in Aug. of 1994. I stayed in Norfolk for a couple of years after that. You see, I had reverted to my old ways. Not only was I still living the STREET lifestyle, I had now started a gang. We were up to about 35 people deep, and were well respected all over the area. I had some crazy people that I always surrounded myself with. But once again things got out of control. Time to jet.

After some close calls and a couple of broken noses I decided I was done with that life. I moved back to Texas. I spent a few months in Waco, Tx. Then I finally made it home to El Paso. My parents had FINALLY gotten a divorce (Dad in Waco—Mom in El Paso)Mom was sick and needed an operation and I wanted to be close by. So, I bartended in El Paso for about a year and a half at about every type of bar imaginable (Strip clubs, bowling centers, bars in Mexico (where I lived for 3 months), and a Casino.). Then I got hit with Criminal Identity Theft.

Apparently at one time or another my wallet had been stolen, and someone ended up using my ID in the commission of Multiple Felonies. I ended up losing my job due to a Criminal Background Check. It was a good job, too. I was managing 3 bars for a Casino on an Indian Reservation right outside of El Paso. I was making great money because above my salary I also bartended a cople of nights a week and made great tips. Alas, I was let go. They said I could re-apply after 6 months if I ever got this situation fixed. I STILL HAVEN’T There is alot of red-tape involved in removing false info off of your record. I will give you all the details at a later time. But I can assure you that having Evading Police, Possesion of a Stolen vehicle, Possesion of Narcotics, Armed Robbery, Participation in Organized Criminal Activity, and Capital Murder all on your Background Check can really screw you up employment wise. I have been fired during my first week of work for lying on my application more than anyone I have ever heard of.

I found that my mom was doing Okay and there was no reason for me to stay in this God-forsaken town. So, off I went. I had to keep under the Radar so I kept bartending and traveling. I did Houston,TX. , Austin,Tx., Albuquerque,NM., Charlotte,NC, and ended up right back here in Norfolk,VA. And that is when the next chapter of my SUPER-LONG-OVER-INFORMATIVE-INTRO will pick up next.

Tags: Bartender, Blogging, Criminal Identity theft, Navy
Posted in Stories and tales | No Comments »

Thanks for visiting “The Storyteller” blog. As you get to know me through this blog you will learn that I have a very diverse background and alot of life experiences to draw from in my writing. I welcome all comments pertaining to content.(please no comments on grammar I am a story-teller not an author)My stories will be somewhat random in order but all will have at least a basis of truth to them depending on how much of my memory is still intact. Will be posting again soon…..until then, CHEERS!

Tags: comedic writings, stories, tales
Posted in Stories and tales | 2 Comments »