Broken Helmet
January 1st, 2009
HAPPY NEW YEAR
Well, it’s finally 2009. I wish everyone of you a prosperous New Year. As some of you know, my goal this year is to post 365 stories on this website, and to attract 1,000,000 readers. Basically just to see if I can do it. I was trying to pick a story that was fitting for such a good day. New Years Day is almost magical. You get a clean slate, you get to start over, you get to make and often break resolutions. But, what New Years Day means to us guys, is FOOTBALL. I’m actually trying to watch the Capital One Bowl (MSU vs. UGA) and can’t wait for the PASADENA ROSE BOWL (USC vs. PSU). Which brings me to today’s topic FOOTBALL. Yes, “Broken Helmet” has earned the first story spot for the New Year. Not because it’s one of my better ones, that’s for sure, but because it’s kinda cute and it’s been on my mind all day. So, here we go……….
BROKEN HELMET
As you know from my intro/bio, my family and I lived in SE Arkansas during my early childhood years. And if you have read “Redneck Christmas” you know that for my 4th Christmas I got a plastic helmet/shoulder-pads set. Now, if you are from the South and from the Country, then you know what the biggest gathering of all the locals is…….That’s right, The Friday Night High-School Football Game. Oh, it is so much fun. You get to see all of your friends and relatives. You get to see a good game. More often than not you get to see grown men fight on the sidelines. It’s one heck of a slapper-dasher-sasher. Well this one particular Friday night my Daddy and I had traveled to another town to watch Rison High (Where my Dad was like a football God) play an away game.
As we were walking by the Field House, I heard something that sounded like thunder coming from the field-house. Apparently, the Home team (I can’t remember who it was) was getting hyped up by running into the walls. Seriously, I know it sounds funny, but they were. I could here them as I got closer. They were saying,”Down, Set, Hut” and then you would here them just crash the wall. I thought these guys must be the toughest guys on earth. I was impressed and a little intimidated for my beloved Rison High. These guys just sounded MEAN. I don’t remember much more of the night(I was only 4 or maybe 5) except that my Uncle got into a potential fight, and of course had to come get my Dad to back him up. I think my Dad (The Preacher) actually decked a guy, Rison won, then we drove the hour and a half trip home.
The next day is the real story here, if you want stories about my crazy father, they’re coming I’m sure. Anyways, Saturday afternoon we were of course watching our Razorback’s on TV. Half-time came, and I was bored , so I disappeared to my room. Then coming from my room was a sound that shook the trailer. My parents came back to check on me, and what they found was me, fully padded, backing up for another shot at my bedroom wall. I was into it man. I had my helmet on, pads on, and was copying what I had experienced the night before. “Down, Set, Hut” and another launch at the wall that impressively once again shook the whole trailer. My Dad, a little amused, but even more so irritated, said,” Boy, if you’re so tough. Why don’t you go on out there and tackle one of them there trees in the yard.” To his surprise, out the door I went.
I picked out the biggest Oak in the yard. Pulled down hard on my red, plastic, helmet with the plastic face-mask, and the Razorback logo on the side. I backed up about 20 feet. I got in my 3-point stance. I said it once again, “Down, Set, Hut!“, and I took off as fast as I could. I lowered my head and BAM!!!! About 30 seconds later I woke up to find my Dad literally rolling in the driveway with laughter, Mom was behind him with a sick, worried look on her face. I ripped off my helmet and inspected it. It was split right down the middle. I took the helmet in my hand, said,“You stupid Helmet!”, and threw it into the woods. Who knows it’s probably still there. I never picked it up again.
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